“Fear is the highest fence.” – Dudley Nichols
Mending one’s fences – to strengthen or reestablish one’s position by conciliation or negotiation.
Being on the fence – uncommitted, neutral, and undecided.
Walls create physical and mental barriers. Putting up fences and rushing to repair them at the last minute is exhausting. When part of a fence is broken, scratched or needs new paint, it’s time to take action. For the purpose of this article, our body mind and spirit is the ‘yard’ we put fences around. This protects us from possible ‘outsiders’ or unwanted visitors. Granted, we need strong fences that provide safely, security and supports our needs, but not those that holds us hostage. What kind of fences have you built and do you have some mending to do? Our ‘yards’ need to be nourished and nurtured. Therefore, think of fence mending as a requirement for a happy healthy you.
7 Ways to Mend Your Fences – Consider This a Healing Process
- Dig below the fence and find the root cause of the problem.
- Communicate your feelings and be open to listening to the other persons perspective. You can agree to disagree – it’s okay!
- Remember what is important about your relationship.
- Forgiveness – Let old grudges go the way of the dodo bird. Apologize or accept and apology.
- Restore trust – this happens by mending fences and building bridges.
- If your fence is broken, find a way to repair it. There are resources everywhere.
- Rebuilding takes time, be patient!
Isaac Newton said, ‘Men build too many walls and not enough bridges’ and this is something that needs to change
Man-made barriers have been created to keep us separate – battling over who is right and who is wrong. Whose fence is stronger, higher, the wrong color, size or made of a foreign material we don’t like. These barriers destroy families, friendships, businesses. Much as I would like to go on, you get my drift. Change begins with each of us, working together for the common good.
Observe next time you see a neighbor repairing a damaged fence. The new section is repaired and painted to look new, or to match the existing fence. Wouldn’t it be fantastic is life could be fixed as easily? Build a bridge that leads to peace. Assess the slights, hurts or damage and take the appropriate repair steps. All fences get scuffed up over a lifetime. Therefore, it’s up to us to do repairs that suit our sensibilities.
In Conclusion
Another perspective via Seth Godin’s Blog – The Invisible Fence
There are very few fences that can stop a determined person (or dog, for that matter).
Most of the time, the fence is merely a visual reminder that we’re rewarded for complying.
If you care enough, ignore the fence. It’s mostly in your head.
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