Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys: Walking Away from Toxic People

Letting go of people who drag you down—just thinking about it feels liberating, doesn’t it?

Life, in all its unpredictable madness, often feels like a full-blown circus. And let’s be real – the monkeys? Oh, they’re everywhere. Swinging from crisis to crisis, tossing drama like confetti, and turning every peaceful moment into their personal three-ring spectacle.

At some point, we all realize that not everyone deserves a starring role in our show – our personal reel life movie. Call it lifestyle well-being clutter clearing, but walking away from chaos isn’t just self-care, it’s survival.

Contrast is a ruthless yet effective teacher. Without it, how would we ever figure out what lifts us up and what holds us back? Every bad experience, every energy-draining interaction, every lesson in “never again” sharpens our understanding of what truly matters. And let’s be honest – if we didn’t deal with a few circus acts along the way, we’d never fully appreciate the peace of stepping outside the big top.

The best part? You don’t have to tame the monkeys, fix the circus, or explain your exit. Just walk away. The show will go on without you.

Sometimes, walking away from the circus monkeys is the best thing you can do for your own mental and emotional well-being. Here are some actions that may lead to that decision:

• Disrespectful Behavior: Disrespect is a major red flag. If someone consistently undermines or dismisses you, it’s time to step back.
• Causing Pain: Toxic people often cause emotional or physical harm, draining your energy and leaving you feeling worse for being around them.
• Non-Supportive: They’re negative and fail to encourage your growth or success, choosing instead to remain stuck in their own negativity.
• Fear-Driven: Fear consumes them, showing up in their words and actions, shaping their life in ways that perpetuates worry and anxiety, which leads to more fear.
• Drama-Centered: Whining, complaining, blaming, and constant drama make life feel like a never-ending soap opera. It’s exhausting to engage with people who thrive on chaos.
• Lack of Integrity: Dishonesty, manipulation, and playing the victim are common traits of toxic people. They lie, cheat, and steal, with little to no regard for how their actions affect others.
• Ego and Self-Centeredness: Toxic individuals often prioritize their own agenda and can’t extend kindness or gratitude. Their actions (narcissistic much!) are driven by an inflated sense of self, and everything revolves around them.

At the end of the day, you deserve to be around people who lift you up, not bring you down. Walking away is an act of self-preservation. – Debra Oakland

Actions to Support Relationships – Stop Monkeying Around!

• Never Apologize for Having High Standards: Your standards are a reflection of your self-respect. Stick to them, and only allow people into your life who meet those standards. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
• Decide How Long to Tolerate Negative or Angry Behavior: You may not always be able to predict someone’s bad behavior, but you always have the power to decide how much you will tolerate. Set boundaries – enforce them when needed. It’s hard to be at war with another and at peace with yourself.
• Communication is Key: Open, honest communication builds trust and understanding. Speak your truth clearly and listen without judgment. It’s the foundation for healthy, thriving relationships.
• Trust Your Instincts and Keep Your Inner Power: Your intuition is a powerful guide. Don’t let anyone take away your inner strength or confidence. If you’ve allowed others to diminish your power, take it back courageously and trust yourself to make the right decisions.
• Evaluate Your Relationships and Expectations: Are the relationships in your life aligned with your values? Assess both sides, what you give and what you receive.
• Courageously Choose Mutually Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who encourage your growth, celebrate your successes, and support you through challenges. Cultivate relationships that are reciprocal and enriching.
• Enjoy Good Relationships with Gratitude: Appreciate the people in your life who uplift and inspire you. A thankful heart attracts more positivity and deepens your connections. When there is mutual respect and understanding, relationships flourish. Forgiveness is a tool to use wisely.

Every moment of every day, you’re the ringmaster of your own circus…

Make conscious choices and decide which acts will take center stage. If the choices you’ve made in the past haven’t been serving you, well, it’s time to grab that whip and crack it – because you have the power to change the show. The truth is, we’re all where we are because of an infinite series of choices. And those “random” events? They’re just the clowns dropping in to remind you that you get to choose how you respond.

Pay attention to the thoughts you’re entertaining. They’re the opening act to the choices you’ll make next. If you want to change the performance of your life, start by radiating love, compassion, and joy – not just out into the world, but into yourself. When you fill up with those qualities, you’ve got a magnetic power that draws in more of the same. But let’s face it – part of that magnetic power is knowing when to kick the monkeys out of your tent.

Letting go of the people who drag you down is the first step toward reclaiming your power and keeping the circus running smoothly. Focus on living your life authentically, choosing peace over chaos, and surrounding yourself with the people who make your show a hit. A little gratitude, an open mind, and a heart full of love—those are your best props.

So, when the monkeys start swinging from the rafters, causing a ruckus in your life, just remember: Not my circus, not my monkeys. You’ve got a show to run, and the audience you keep matters. Cut the drama, choose wisely, and let the monkeys sort themselves out.